Recovery: Day 2

What's up world... It's Day 2 & not really sure how I feel today. I got an unexpected phone call from my ex & I froze up... I'm just not ready 2 hear her voice yet. I recognize that this is the hardest thing I've ever had to face emotionally. And that LOVE just doesn't dissipate or dissolve over night. It's so surreal to experience a LOVE that's truly unconditional from a person. It's also surreal to LOVE someone so much you'll put them before yourself & have a willingness to lay your life on the line for this person... GOD does that & sent JESUS to do it for us, but to actually meet someone who knows & understands what LOVE really is is UNBELIEVABLE. How many people do you know that's capable of this? Are you capable of this?

I'm so torn... Because in some ways, i just want to move on. What's the point in beating a dead horse??? But in some ways, i want to pursue & give everything I've got regardless... Does it really make sense to "show" someone if they don't want to be "shown" anything? Or do you "show" anyway hoping it "changes" things? I'm not a quitter & i don't like giving up, but is walking away really quitting or giving up? Or am I foolish for not walking away when she's already expressed she's moved on? Should I really believe she's moved on after all the time that's been invested? I'm just not sure what to do.... (SMH)

I've considered the possibility of dating again, but don't think that's going to make what I feel disappear... And I definitely don't want to end up in a situation where it seems like I'm "leading" someone on. I've already encountered that & it's not a good feeling. I actually went on a dinner "date" last night & I actually had a great time... She was able to put a smile on my face & had me laughing the whole date. It was so refreshing... Ironically, she just came out of a 4 year relationship as well. And the first thought that came to my head was, "is this a rebound situation?" I don't want to be a rebound nor do I want someone to feel like they're my rebound... Am I wrong for thinking that way? Was I wrong for going on the date? She's really a nice woman too, very respectable & classy. And the first impression is that she's really genuine. The only "warning sign" that popped up was when I found out her birthday is the exact same day as my mom! They have so many of the same characteristics, it's crazy!!! Now don't get me wrong I love my mom like crazy, but there are things about my mom (characteristic wise) that I couldn't deal with... But the verdict is still out. Guess I'll know more after date #2. Pray for me! (LOL)

Well thanks for listening... Check back tomorrow.

BooG

Follow me online @
twitter.com/boogsworld
facebook.com/djlboog
youtube.com/djlboog
djlboog.podomatic.com
ustream.tv/channel/boogs-world